February PsychNotes

February PsychNotesAs we wrap up the 2015 wrap-ups, here is the New Yorker’s list of the year’s most interesting psychology papers.

In other news, Valentine’s day approaches. Some people appreciate the holiday less than others (we call those people “men”), but I think it’s a great opportunity to think about our connections to others even in platonic or professional contexts. No matter how charismatic or empathetic we are, there’s always room to improve our connection to others. Continue reading “February PsychNotes”

Book Release! Plus a Dramatic Reenactment of My Creative Process

If you google the phrase where are all… the search engine will autofill the remainder with …the good men. I guess even robots know that good, relationship-ready men are elusive. Not non-existent. Elusive. There’s a big difference. Continue reading “Book Release! Plus a Dramatic Reenactment of My Creative Process”

Help! My Man Won’t Talk to Me 

Michelle sent this question via Facebook:

“I’ve recently come across some articles you’ve written on relationship dynamics, specifically situations in which men ‘go silent.’ They’ve been very interesting and helpful but there’s one question to which I’ve not found an answer…. When dealing with a man who is giving you the silent treatment for days, causing your own buttons to be pushed (and badly) what is the best course of action to take? I understand giving space to someone, but I also wonder about taking care of yourself and the feelings/anxiety that come with being ignored by a partner (not living together).”

Continue reading “Help! My Man Won’t Talk to Me “

14 Character Traits Young Men Learn from Good Men

skills that boys learn from menIt seems that men aren’t very popular these days. There are books o’plenty on the shortcomings and irrelevancy of men. There are songs, and websites, and fabricated stories about bad, bad men. We’re in the midst of a gender war, and men are squarely in the crosshairs of a few tetchy man-scolders. Continue reading “14 Character Traits Young Men Learn from Good Men”

How to Ruin Your Marriage in One Easy Step

Over the years I’ve helped a lot of couples get their relationships back on track. I’ve also watched couples self-destruct despite my best efforts. The mind can’t help but notice patterns among the two groups. I think any experienced shrink can predict with some reliability which couples will last, which ones will drift apart, and which ones will eventually donate their life savings to divorce lawyers. Continue reading “How to Ruin Your Marriage in One Easy Step”

7 Modest Tips to Increase Your IQ

IQ can be raisedKeeping a fit mind is like keeping a fit body: there are no reliable gimmicks or shortcuts. Health comes down to daily lifestyle choices, like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and being judicious with french fries and six packs. IQ, just like weight, begins with the little choices. Continue reading “7 Modest Tips to Increase Your IQ”

Duct Tape Solutions for the Mind

Last week I had the honor of speaking with about 200 wonderful students at Northeastern Community College here in Colorado. We discussed important things, like why the mind is willing to jump through too many hoops for a free cookie. During a lively Q&A, one student asked my opinion on sleeping pills. How does a person know when medication is the proper way to treat sleep difficulties? Continue reading “Duct Tape Solutions for the Mind”

The Most Important Thing to Know about Bullies and Predators

Angry little boyHey, do you want to hear a secret? I was bullied as a kid, and it was not the moderate, teasing variety. Throughout grade school I was extorted for money, chased through alleys, beaten up, and repeatedly had my coke-bottle glasses knocked to the ground. (The Glasses Game went like this: someone would knock my glasses off, after which I would crawl around looking for them. The other kids found this more amusing than I did.) Continue reading “The Most Important Thing to Know about Bullies and Predators”