Help! My Man Won’t Talk to Me 

Michelle sent this question via Facebook:

“I’ve recently come across some articles you’ve written on relationship dynamics, specifically situations in which men ‘go silent.’ They’ve been very interesting and helpful but there’s one question to which I’ve not found an answer…. When dealing with a man who is giving you the silent treatment for days, causing your own buttons to be pushed (and badly) what is the best course of action to take? I understand giving space to someone, but I also wonder about taking care of yourself and the feelings/anxiety that come with being ignored by a partner (not living together).”

Continue reading “Help! My Man Won’t Talk to Me “

Duct Tape Solutions for the Mind

Last week I had the honor of speaking with about 200 wonderful students at Northeastern Community College here in Colorado. We discussed important things, like why the mind is willing to jump through too many hoops for a free cookie. During a lively Q&A, one student asked my opinion on sleeping pills. How does a person know when medication is the proper way to treat sleep difficulties? Continue reading “Duct Tape Solutions for the Mind”

How to Overcome Laziness

laziness.jpgWe all have those lazy days we look back upon with regret. Today, for example, I donated a paltry four hours to the animal shelter, wrote only two chapters of my book on pre-Renaissance psychiatric interventions, and barely finished reshingling my roof. Some days I just can’t get myself moving. Continue reading “How to Overcome Laziness”

How to Turn Habit into Discipline

Turn habit to disciplineQ: If I feed my brain with a certain positive thought every time it wanders in a negative direction, does it eventually believe the thought? For example, suppose my mom tries to stop me from playing video games by telling me that it wastes time. My mind doubts her, and and I have thoughts that she’s just being overly protective. But if I keep repeating to myself that she’s right, would my mind eventually believe it and have no more doubts? – Michele Continue reading “How to Turn Habit into Discipline”

Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

Why do nice guys finish last?Q: OK Doc, I saw that you write about men and women so maybe you can help. I’m a 19-year-old guy. I’m in college, working part-time, doing what I’m supposed to do. Last week, this girl said she didn’t want to date me and we should just be friends. She said I’m “too nice.” I get that a lot. Every girl I know seems to go after douchebags and macho idiots. They ignore nice guys like me. Why do women act like that? – Matt Continue reading “Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?”

Why Do I Feel Horny When I Have a Cold?

hormones, cytokines, and the immune systemDon’t laugh, but I get extremely randy whenever I have a cold. Am I the only one? Why does this happen? – Mike

Dear Mike,

It seems counter-intuitive to be lookin’ for love when your body is under attack, but you are not alone. When I searched Google for phrases such as “sick and horny” I found men and women wondering why they feel frisky when they’re fighting infection.

Continue reading “Why Do I Feel Horny When I Have a Cold?”

Should I Take Antidepressants?

antidepressants may not be the answerI’ve been considering asking my doctor for antidepressants, but I’ve heard that they are no better than placebos. What do you think? Do antidepressants work, or should I opt for the sugar pill? – BD Continue reading “Should I Take Antidepressants?”

Ten Questions, Ten Answers, Sort Of

psychology pop quizI’ve been thinking, IronShrink, and have some random questions for you. I hope to see some or all of these questions answered because they are burning a hole in my head, suppress them as I might try. – Just Asking. Continue reading “Ten Questions, Ten Answers, Sort Of”

Should Psychologists Use Sliding Fee Scales?

Q: Hi Shawn. As a psychologist myself, I’m wrestling with whether to work with an increasing number of patients asking me to accept reduced fees. With the bad economy, more people want sliding-scale services. The problem is that the more sliding-scale work I do, the more hours I have to put in to pay the bills. It’s tiring. Just wondering how you approach the problem. – Michelle Continue reading “Should Psychologists Use Sliding Fee Scales?”

Why Am I So Irritable In The Winter?

Q: Is there anything that can be done for seasonal depression? The long months of overcast skies and reduced sunlight never had any noticeable effect on me in my youth, but as I approach middle age, I find I’m irritable, fractious, melancholy and generally about as pleasant as a plowed-up snake from about mid November until at least mid May. Last year was the worst ever. Since I plan to live through at least another 45 winters or so, it would sure be nice to know if there’s anything I can do about this. – Sean Continue reading “Why Am I So Irritable In The Winter?”