Ask the Shrink

A Practical Guide to Forgiveness

resentmentMike asked a question that comes up frequently in my office: what the heck does forgiveness mean, and how does one do it? We’ve all heard flowery sentiments that work fine when someone cuts us off in traffic, but how do you move on after someone causes real damage? …

Help! My Man Won’t Talk to Me 

Michelle sent this question via Facebook:

“I’ve recently come across some articles you’ve written on relationship dynamics, specifically situations in which men ‘go silent.’ They’ve been very interesting and helpful but there’s one question to which I’ve not found an answer…. When dealing with a man who is giving you the silent treatment for days, causing your own buttons to be pushed (and badly) what is the best course of action to take? I understand giving space to someone, but I also wonder about taking care of yourself and the feelings/anxiety that come with being ignored by a partner (not living together).”

Duct Tape Solutions for the Mind

Last week I had the honor of speaking with about 200 wonderful students at Northeastern Community College here in Colorado. We discussed important things, like why the mind is willing to jump through too many hoops for a free cookie. During a lively Q&A, one student asked my opinion on sleeping pills. How does a person know when medication is the proper way to treat sleep difficulties? …

How to Overcome Laziness

laziness.jpgWe all have those lazy days we look back upon with regret. Today, for example, I donated a paltry four hours to the animal shelter, wrote only two chapters of my book on pre-Renaissance psychiatric interventions, and barely finished reshingling my roof. Some days I just can’t get myself moving. …

How to Turn Habit into Discipline

Turn habit to disciplineQ: If I feed my brain with a certain positive thought every time it wanders in a negative direction, does it eventually believe the thought? For example, suppose my mom tries to stop me from playing video games by telling me that it wastes time. My mind doubts her, and and I have thoughts that she’s just being overly protective. But if I keep repeating to myself that she’s right, would my mind eventually believe it and have no more doubts? – Michele

Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

Why do nice guys finish last?Q: OK Doc, I saw that you write about men and women so maybe you can help. I’m a 19-year-old guy. I’m in college, working part-time, doing what I’m supposed to do. Last week, this girl said she didn’t want to date me and we should just be friends. She said I’m “too nice.” I get that a lot. Every girl I know seems to go after douchebags and macho idiots. They ignore nice guys like me. Why do women act like that? – Matt

Why Do I Feel Horny When I Have a Cold?

Don’t laugh, but I get extremely randy whenever I have a cold. Am I the only one? Why does this happen? – Mike

Dear Mike,

It seems counter-intuitive to be lookin’ for love when your body is under attack, but you are not alone. When I searched Google for phrases such as “sick and horny” I found plenty of men and women wondering why they feel frisky when they’re fighting infection.