How to Ruin Your Marriage in One Easy Step

Over the years I’ve helped a lot of couples get their relationships back on track. I’ve also watched couples self-destruct despite my best efforts. The mind can’t help but notice patterns among the two groups. I think any experienced shrink can predict with some reliability which couples will last, which ones will drift apart, and which ones will eventually donate their life savings to divorce lawyers. Continue reading “How to Ruin Your Marriage in One Easy Step”

Book Review: Men On Strike

Men on strike coverMen are a strange bunch. We’ll fight each other to the death over a patch of land. We’ll go to the mat over an imagined insult. Sometimes we brawl just for fun. But we do not enjoy conflict with women. Any relationship therapist can tell you that men tend to retreat from arguments, leaving women frustrated and isolated, and leaving relationship problems unresolved. It may be the single most common complaint from women about the men in their lives. Continue reading “Book Review: Men On Strike”

Five Reasons Men Go Silent, and What to Do About It (Part Two)

In Part One of this two-parter, I offered a few common reasons that men stop talking in relationships. Then, being a man, I ran out of things to say. I’m back now with some thoughts on how to tackle this problem as a team. Continue reading “Five Reasons Men Go Silent, and What to Do About It (Part Two)”

How to Get Your Husband to Help More

how to have a helpful husband(Author’s note: I realized after writing this piece that it needs a bit of context and preamble. In this essay, I offer some pointed thoughts about female tendencies in relationships. I mistakenly assumed that this needn’t be said: some men are lazy and inconsiderate, and no amount of effort from their partners will fix that. I don’t discuss male problems in this essay, but I fully realize that they exist. Also, this essay critically examines the actions of one woman who made her relationship behavior very public. Her story is a useful example of a common pattern. I do not think she is a bad person, nor do I believe her behavior is representative of all women.) Continue reading “How to Get Your Husband to Help More”