Help! My Man Won’t Talk to Me 

Michelle sent this question via Facebook:

“I’ve recently come across some articles you’ve written on relationship dynamics, specifically situations in which men ‘go silent.’ They’ve been very interesting and helpful but there’s one question to which I’ve not found an answer…. When dealing with a man who is giving you the silent treatment for days, causing your own buttons to be pushed (and badly) what is the best course of action to take? I understand giving space to someone, but I also wonder about taking care of yourself and the feelings/anxiety that come with being ignored by a partner (not living together).”

Continue reading “Help! My Man Won’t Talk to Me “

14 Character Traits Young Men Learn from Good Men

skills that boys learn from menIt seems that men aren’t very popular these days. There are books o’plenty on the shortcomings and irrelevancy of men. There are songs, and websites, and fabricated stories about bad, bad men. We’re in the midst of a gender war, and men are squarely in the crosshairs of a few tetchy man-scolders. Continue reading “14 Character Traits Young Men Learn from Good Men”

Book Review: Men On Strike

Men on strike coverMen are a strange bunch. We’ll fight each other to the death over a patch of land. We’ll go to the mat over an imagined insult. Sometimes we brawl just for fun. But we do not enjoy conflict with women. Any relationship therapist can tell you that men tend to retreat from arguments, leaving women frustrated and isolated, and leaving relationship problems unresolved. It may be the single most common complaint from women about the men in their lives. Continue reading “Book Review: Men On Strike”

Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

Why do nice guys finish last?Q: OK Doc, I saw that you write about men and women so maybe you can help. I’m a 19-year-old guy. I’m in college, working part-time, doing what I’m supposed to do. Last week, this girl said she didn’t want to date me and we should just be friends. She said I’m “too nice.” I get that a lot. Every girl I know seems to go after douchebags and macho idiots. They ignore nice guys like me. Why do women act like that? – Matt Continue reading “Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?”

Five Reasons Men Go Silent, and What to Do About It (Part Two)

In Part One of this two-parter, I offered a few common reasons that men stop talking in relationships. Then, being a man, I ran out of things to say. I’m back now with some thoughts on how to tackle this problem as a team. Continue reading “Five Reasons Men Go Silent, and What to Do About It (Part Two)”

It’s Time for Domestic Violence Treatment to Grow Up

alternative domestic violence treatmentThe crime of domestic violence is given special status in the U.S. criminal justice system. Rather than simply facing financial penalty or incarceration, batterers are often remanded to special treatment programs with the purpose of diverting them from the prison system. The most common forms of treatment for men who abuse women stem from the Duluth model (National Institute of Justice, September 2003). The underlying theory of this model is that batterers act out of a need to control their partners, and that changing the need to control others is the most efficient way to eliminate battering behavior. Continue reading “It’s Time for Domestic Violence Treatment to Grow Up”