Mike asked a question that comes up frequently in my office: what the heck does forgiveness mean, and how does one do it? We’ve all heard flowery sentiments that work fine when someone cuts us off in traffic, but how do you move on after someone causes real damage? Continue reading “A Practical Guide to Forgiveness”
It’s been ten years and one child since I wrote a blog post titled How Does Memory Work? It’s held up well, for the most part. It’s one of the more frequently visited posts because memory is fascinating business. Here are some more recent thoughts from more smarter people. Continue reading “July PsychNotes • Sweet Memories”
Here’s a modern-day riddle. In a world where predators prey on weakness, why would anyone pretend to be gutless and fragile? Bad guys search for vulnerability in their victims. It makes no sense to paint a target on oneself by feigning weakness. Continue reading “Why Victimhood Is Thriving at College, and What We Can Do about It”
My nine-year-old daughter is pretty gloomy these days. She loves her school and she’s sad the year is over. Me, I’m pretty happy about it. We get to go places and do things together. We’re even going to build an arcade machine this summer. She’s going to teach me how to use tools and arrange electronics. Continue reading “June PsychNotes • Summer with the Young ‘Uns”
The Smithsonian estimates there are around 900,000 species of insects and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 of them buzzing and crawling around at any given moment. Look out! There’s one behind you! They’re everywhere, and they have their own psychology. Or at least their own way of processing information. Continue reading “May PsychNotes • Insect Intellect”
Here’s something to ponder. None of us know what’s happening right now because everything we see and hear has already occurred. It takes time for light and sound to reach us, plus more time to process information once it arrives. By the time we’re aware of what’s happening, it’s already history. Perception is tricky business. Here’s more trickiness… Continue reading “April PsychNotes • Strange Perceptions”
Right now, as I very slowly type, I know several men who are looking for the women of their dreams. These are smart men. Men of kindness and character. Men who frequently leave me envious of their checking accounts, their intellect, their ability to dress well.
Maybe it’s because I’m a shrink, but I almost always know several great guys who are looking for great women. Continue reading “Stop Saying There Are No Good Men if You Want a Good Man”
My wife recently asked if I’d been following the presidential debates. I told her I hadn’t. Knowing that I’m usually well informed, she asked “don’t you want to know what’s going on?”
It was a fine and thoughtful question, to which I answered, “Now that you mention it… no. I really don’t.” Continue reading “March PsychNotes • The Non-Election Issue”
The great majority of us are on the wrong end of an abusive relationship. There is a hypersensitivity problem in our society, and it’s costing us time, money, and freedom. This problem deserves a name, so I’ll take the liberty of coining a new psychiatric term: Highly Offended Person (HOP). Continue reading “Surviving Highly Offended People”
As we wrap up the 2015 wrap-ups, here is the New Yorker’s list of the year’s most interesting psychology papers.
In other news, Valentine’s day approaches. Some people appreciate the holiday less than others (we call those people “men”), but I think it’s a great opportunity to think about our connections to others even in platonic or professional contexts. No matter how charismatic or empathetic we are, there’s always room to improve our connection to others. Continue reading “February PsychNotes”
If you google the phrase where are all… the search engine will autofill the remainder with …the good men. I guess even robots know that good, relationship-ready men are elusive. Not non-existent. Elusive. There’s a big difference. Continue reading “Book Release! Plus a Dramatic Reenactment of My Creative Process”
Happy New Year! Are you resolving to make changes this year? I have a couple of tips below to help you succeed. But first, the big news: Is He Worth It? releases on January 19. And guess what. You can preorder right now! Beat the Christmas rush! By nearly 12 months! If someone you know is making a fresh start this year, be sure she reads this book. Continue reading “January PsychNotes”